- Earth Must Die has crash landed on even more planets! - 9 September 2026
Hi everyone!Today's the day - Earth Must Die has landed on Nintendo Switch & PlayStation 5!PlayStation players: Just a quick heads up, the pricing on PlayStation is unfortunately incorrect at the moment, but we are fixing it and should have it changed ASAP!Join your favourite, potty mouth Tyrythian Vvalak Lizardtongue as he soughts to take over the galaxy, and destroy Earth for good! Well, he's going to try his best anyway.Not only that, you'll be able to experience a star studded voice cast of British celebrities, including the likes of Joel Fry (Game of Thrones), Alex Horne (Taskmaster), Ben Starr (Expedition 33) and many more!Thank you all so much for the support you've given Earth Must Die since launch - we're super pleased to be able to bring Vvalak to even more platforms & give you a good chuckle!We'll see you soon!
- Earth Must Die is heading even further into space! - 3 September 2026
Hi everyone!We've got some great news - your favourite, unserious ruler Vvalak, is expanding his rule even further! Now, you'll be able to destroy earth on Nintendo Switch & PlayStation 5 on September 9!You can pre-order on the Switch eShop right now, and you can add the game to your wishlist on PlayStation too!Thank you for all the support you've given our foul mouthed emperor since launch! We can't wait to see you expand your rule even further & destroy earth for good!We'll see you September 9th!
- LAST CHANCE to pick up Earth Must Die with a launch discount! - 6 February 2026
Hi everyone!We hope you're all having a great time with Earth Must Die!We just wanted to let you know that there's only a few days left until you can grab the game for 25% OFF, so be sure to grab it if you haven't already!Be sure to check out our handy walkthrough too if you need a bit of help while playing:Thank you again for the laughs & great reviews you've given Earth Must Die - we've been thoroughly enjoying the positivity you've been giving the game, so for that, thank you!We'll see you soon!
- First update since launch! - 3 February 2026
Hi everyone! We've been listening closely to your feedback & thoughts since we launched Earth Must Die, and we're very happy to be dropping our very first update, with some bug fixes & quality of life changes! Here's what you can expect: Fixed an issue where opening the main menu while dialogue choices were being displayed could cause them to be off-centreAdded the ability to control VValak's interaction UI with the right stick on controllersIncreased the size of the Simplified Chinese font atlas to fix missing glyphsFixed an issue that could cause the cursor on the Map to stop showingFixed some hyperlinks in the Milkipedia entry for PhysusTweaked some timings in the puzzle where the Mayor drops his grotty novellaThanks for sending over your feedback & reports, we wouldn't be able to lock down these changes as fast otherwise! Please keep sending over anything you might find, or just gen…
- What choices have you made in Earth Must Die? - 29 January 2026
Hi everyone! We've loved seeing you all have a great time with Earth Must Die, especially seeing what choices you've made & all the different routes you've been taking while playing! Did you know there are some choices and dialogue which will influence some events in the game? It might be worth going back & having a replay to see what could turn out differently... Here's a few things that you might have missed: You can actually disrupt Skwid's presentation by moving Vvalak to the Skwidbot, which will disrupt the presentation & alter interaction with Skwid on his yacht later If you choose to defund the guards or drop the rebel storyline, they will not be available at The Spire & you'll unlock the chandelier puzzle, with the choice of deciding the fate of your father and changing some of the events that follow If you choose the nasty options with your interactions with Betsy, she'll try t…
- Thank you for an AMAZING Earth Must Die launch! - 28 January 2026
Hi everyone!It sure has been a hectic but amazing 24 hours since we launched Earth Must Die, we have been showered with your endless support, so for that we wanted to say a huge thank you!We've had some great reviews so far that have given us a good laugh, and we're super close to 50! if you're enjoying the game, please do leave us a review & let us know your favourite jokes and gags (why is it the alien orgy?)And in case you missed it, if you need a little bit of help while playing, you can click below to see the full game walkthrough we put together:Don't forget, Earth Must Die is 25% OFF for launch, so be sure to grab it now while it's on offer, alongside a bunch of bundles with some great games!Again, thank you all for a brilliant launch, and be sure to let us know in the reviews how you're finding it! We'll see you soon!
- Earth Must Die publishers say an "alien orgy depicted as a gyrating lump on the floor" left the game's Steam launch "unclear" - 28 January 2026
What Steam operators Valve are and aren't prepared to allow onto their storefront has been a major talking point for the past year or so, especially when it comes to mature or sexually-themed content. Our Edwin's done some fine reporting on the topic and how it relates to payment processors, as well as delving into individual cases like Santa Ragione's Horses . Now, the developers of point-and-click comedy Earth Must Die say things looked "unclear" for a bit in terms of whether they'd be able to launch on Steam, with the platform then offering a thumbs up after reviewing footage of an "alien orgy". Read more
- Earth Must Die is OUT NOW! - 27 January 2026
Greetings, Terranoids! TODAY IS THE DAY - EARTH. MUST. DIE.We’ve set our coordinates and warmed the lasers; your time is officially up! The INCREDIBLE INVASION OF PLANET EARTH STARTS NOW!EARTH MUST DIE IS OUT NOW!We’ve been double- and triple-checking the lovely scenery, making sure the aliens all behave themselves at the orgy, and filling the Milkipedia with all sorts of random information, so we’re now FINALLY READY to invite you on the biggest space adventure this side of planet Tyryth.It’s also FULLY STEAM DECK COMPATIBLE, so you can reclaim your throne from wherever you happen to be - Earth or otherwise!If you find yourself getting lost at any point, we have a handy walkthrough for you HERE - We really hope you enjoy reclaiming your lovely dictatorship and overthrowing Earth - let us know how you get on in the forums!
- The FINAL countdown until launch! - 23 January 2026
Hi everyone!We're ALMOST there! Earth Must Die launches in just 5 days, and we can't wait to finally give you the chance to play! We've already had some amazing reviews come in so far, and we can't wait to see what you all think!In case you missed it, be sure to check out our previous post to see how much the game will cost in your region, with a 25% launch discount on top of course! Don't forget, you can play the demo for FREE right now and try out a couple of levels, including the very beginning of the game!In the full game, you can expect lots of different levels, endless laughs, infuriating characters, super fun voice acting & mind boggling puzzles! Be sure to listen out for your favourite British celebrities 👀Thank you all for your support so far! Our last few days on Earth are imminent as Vvalak approaches (if he ever makes it), so be sure blast off with us on January 27th!
- Earth Must Die: Launch Pricing! - 19 January 2026
Hi everyone!Exciting news - we've got just over a week left until the full launch of Earth Must Die! That being said, we are happy to reveal the pricing for the full game too!You'll be able to grab the game at £11.99 / $15.99 / €13.29. We'll also be running a 25% launch discount, so you'll be able to grab a nice discount off these prices for a limited time!We can't wait to give you the chance to play the full game! We've been running various playtests in the background to make sure the game is up to scratch, and we're excited to be on track for a great launch next week!Thank you for your support, and we'll see you very soon!
- Point-and-click adventure game filled with "ah yeah, them" British actors Earth Must Die is out later this month - 14 January 2026
Anyone order a point-and-click adventure puzzle game for later this month featuring a cast of British actors that'll make you go "oh, right, them!" when you Google them? Well, someone must have, because Earth Must Die, the next game from Lair of the Clockwork God developer Size Five Games, now has a release date. Come on, it's getting cold! Read more
- Earth Must Die is Launching January 27th! - 14 January 2026
Greetings, Terranoids!The lasers have been aligned, the coordinates triangulated, and all the go buttons are finally flashing and ready for the INCREDIBLE INVASION OF PLANET EARTH.We will be (crash) landing on Steam -JANUARY 27th, 2026The whole team has been hard at work making sure jokes land in all our languages, setting up bars for small blue aliens and looping the orgy room (just to make sure it works!), and we’re now ready to invite you on the biggest space adventure this side of planet Tyryth.Want an early peek at what’s in store? We have a BRAND NEW DEMO you can play RIGHT NOW:We’ll see you (and crush you) on January 27th!
- Earth Must Die - DEMO NOW LIVE! - 9 October 2025
From the desk of VValak Lizardtongue, Grand Shepherd of the Tyrythian Empire:Greetings Tyrythians! It is I, mighty Great Shepherd and all-around generally nice guy VValak here with a VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE. I have noticed that many of you wish to hear about my many and varied heroic exploits through this ‘Steam’ you seem to love so much. I have received SO MANY EMAILS about it. What even IS an e-mail? Please stop sending those to me.From RIGHT NOW, you can play a demonstration build of Earth Must Die and witness the glorious start of my adventure. I think I will call it a DEMO. Yes, very good. Anyway, I look very good in this first part before I give away my empire in an accident so I am happy to share it with you. FOR FREE. Look at how much of a nice guy I am being.You can pick up my Demo HERE -
- Earth Must Die! We're coming SOON! - 28 September 2025
Greetings, Terranoid scum! It is I, Vvalak Lizardtongue. I have a very important announcement to make, so kindly shut up and stare at your screen.I am FULLY AND TOTALLY DESTROYING YOUR STUPID, HORRIBLE PLANET LATER THIS YEAR.No really, I am going to make you very, very dead. Milky will help too; she is very clever for a literal floating container of milk. I will whizz over to Earth, turn it into a stinking pile of rubble, and be back home in time for a warm glass of milk before bed. My bedroom is the one at the very top of the big spire, you know.Stand by for my glorious rise to power, my definitely accidental surrender to you Terranoids, and my infamous revenge against Earth and everything it stands for. It’ll be a whirlwind. You’ll love it... and then you’ll be dead. But not before doing some clicking and pointing! For hours! MWAHAHAHAA. It says here I am meant to tell you about some…
