- EARTH MUST DIE, a new game from Size Five! - 14 January 2026
HEY NO WAY good news everyone. A new game! Are you ready to take on Earth and reclaim your sprawling space-empire? I’m delighted to announce that my next game EARTH MUST DIE is headed to Steam on January 27th! https://store.steampowered.com/app/3639780/Earth_Must_Die/ You’ll pilot Vvalak Lizardtongue through a myriad of point and click puzzles that feature cube-shaped chickens, _weird_ orgies, short-lived space bugs, and exploding bodies to take back your throne by any means necessary. Sound good? Intriguing? GREAT NEWS, I have a demo right here for you to try - https://store.steampowered.com/app/4057540/Earth_Must_Die_Demo/ Throughout your adventures, you’ll be joined by a star-studded voice cast, including Joel Fry, Alex Horne, Martha Howe-Douglas, Mike Wozniak, Ben Starr, and many more! Have a listen here - This game has been pure joy from start to finish, and I hope you love it as m…
- Lair of the Clockwork God: OUT NOW! - 21 February 2020
I am delighted to announce that Size Five's newest game 'Lair of the Clockwork God' is OUT NOW. A fast-paced Point-and-Click adventure AND an indie platfomer in one! Join adventurer Ben and wannabe indie darling Dan in a race against time to stop all the Apocalypses. LAIR OF THE CLOCKWORK GOD sees you switching between both characters and using their unique abilities together in a race-against-time effort to stop all the Apocalypses happening simultaneously, by teaching an old computer about feelings. Get it here!
- v1.050 now live! Menu Controller Support, Gameplay Tweaks AND MORE - 3 August 2017
HELLO there's patch notes for v1.050 below. It's been a long time coming (like, a week?) because adding in the controller support for menus took a while because it was boring. I've taken the time to address much of the more negative feedback, and hopefully this build addresses a lot of issues, as well as fixing bugs. Kickmen is intended to be a difficult game, simply because winning by a large amount at Sport gets very boring very quickly, but I've done what I can to address the speed of that change and how some of the AI react in certain situations. If it's still too tough, remember there's a Difficulty Slider when you set up a team! If you've enjoyed Kickmen PLEASE help make it a success by spreading the word. There's loads you can do, buy a copy for a friend, do a Let's Play or Twitch Stream, recommend it on Twitter, or even just reviewing it here on Steam. It all really REALLY helps…
- v1.050 now live! Menu Controller Support, Gameplay Tweaks AND MORE - 3 August 2017
HELLO there's patch notes for v1.050 below. It's been a long time coming (like, a week?) because adding in the controller support for menus took a while because it was boring. I've taken the time to address much of the more negative feedback, and hopefully this build addresses a lot of issues, as well as fixing bugs. Kickmen is intended to be a difficult game, simply because winning by a large amount at Sport gets very boring very quickly, but I've done what I can to address the speed of that change and how some of the AI react in certain situations. If it's still too tough, remember there's a Difficulty Slider when you set up a team! If you've enjoyed Kickmen PLEASE help make it a success by spreading the word. There's loads you can do, buy a copy for a friend, do a Let's Play or Twitch Stream, recommend it on Twitter, or even just reviewing it here on Steam. It all really REALLY helps…
- v1.047 Patch Notes - 24 July 2017
v1.047 is just some boring fixes to minor issues, and some attempts to make older controllers work more reliably. FIXED: an issue where doing a big kick at the instant a pop-up popped up in the Training caused a mishap FIXED: a misspelling of the word FOOTBALL which I mean how did I even FIXED: an issue where Goldkeepers could get sent off for being offside which, I mean, I don't know the rules but that doesn't "feel" like it's right? FIXED: an issue with Pause Screen buttons interferring with Tutorial pop-up boxes. ADDED: an extra double-triple failsafe for the ball getting stuck out of bounds because, despite the fact the code is rock solid on that, somehow some of you have still somehow managed it ADDED: Custom Controller map for Xbox360 pad users, in the hopes of solving a connection issue ADDED: Right Stick customisation to the Options->Input screen, in the hopes of solving some PS…
- v1.047 Patch Notes - 24 July 2017
v1.047 is just some boring fixes to minor issues, and some attempts to make older controllers work more reliably. FIXED: an issue where doing a big kick at the instant a pop-up popped up in the Training caused a mishap FIXED: a misspelling of the word FOOTBALL which I mean how did I even FIXED: an issue where Goldkeepers could get sent off for being offside which, I mean, I don't know the rules but that doesn't "feel" like it's right? FIXED: an issue with Pause Screen buttons interferring with Tutorial pop-up boxes. ADDED: an extra double-triple failsafe for the ball getting stuck out of bounds because, despite the fact the code is rock solid on that, somehow some of you have still somehow managed it ADDED: Custom Controller map for Xbox360 pad users, in the hopes of solving a connection issue ADDED: Right Stick customisation to the Options->Input screen, in the hopes of solving some PS…
- v1.046 Now Live! Just some minor bug fixes. - 22 July 2017
Hello! Me again, sorry. Just popping v1.046 live for you, with some fixes and some fixes? Thanks again for all your support so far, I'm utterly delighted to see so many people having so much fun with this. Please keep recommending it, keep streaming it, keep talking about it. Your engagement is like gold to me, so please keep it up. As always, if there's anything awry you've spotted, the best way to let me know is [email protected], because it's easy to miss stuff when it's just tweeted or left as a comment somewhere! FIXED: some sutpid typos that were pointed out to me by someone for who(m?) English is their SECOND LANGUAGE and I found that quite embarrassing FIXED: an issue where if you were charging a tackle as a whistle blew, it could get locked in charge state FIXED: Promotion/ Demotion text no longer displays if you draw a match after being promoted/ demoted FIXED: prevented g…
- v1.046 Now Live! Just some minor bug fixes. - 22 July 2017
Hello! Me again, sorry. Just popping v1.046 live for you, with some fixes and some fixes? Thanks again for all your support so far, I'm utterly delighted to see so many people having so much fun with this. Please keep recommending it, keep streaming it, keep talking about it. Your engagement is like gold to me, so please keep it up. As always, if there's anything awry you've spotted, the best way to let me know is [email protected], because it's easy to miss stuff when it's just tweeted or left as a comment somewhere! FIXED: some sutpid typos that were pointed out to me by someone for who(m?) English is their SECOND LANGUAGE and I found that quite embarrassing FIXED: an issue where if you were charging a tackle as a whistle blew, it could get locked in charge state FIXED: Promotion/ Demotion text no longer displays if you draw a match after being promoted/ demoted FIXED: prevented g…
- Hello, Thank You, and Update Details (v1.044) - 21 July 2017
Hello! I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who's bought a copy of Behold the Kickmen so far, I hope you're all enjoying it as much as is possible given that it's a football game. Also, thanks so much to all of you who have left a review - we're currently at Very Positive which is just amazingly heartening to see, so if you've taken the time to do that, please know it has made me extremely happy. Obviously as soon as the game got into more hands than I could possibly have Beta Tested it on, a few issues cropped up. These have all now been patched, bar one (see below). You can see the version number of your build down the bottom right of the Title Screen. I will continue to address issues as soon as they come in. My Twitter's a bit full-on at the moment, so please email [email protected] if you come across a problem so it doesn't get lost. You're now at v1.044 FIXED: Occasional…
- Hello, Thank You, and Update Details (v1.044) - 21 July 2017
Hello! I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who's bought a copy of Behold the Kickmen so far, I hope you're all enjoying it as much as is possible given that it's a football game. Also, thanks so much to all of you who have left a review - we're currently at Very Positive which is just amazingly heartening to see, so if you've taken the time to do that, please know it has made me extremely happy. Obviously as soon as the game got into more hands than I could possibly have Beta Tested it on, a few issues cropped up. These have all now been patched, bar one (see below). You can see the version number of your build down the bottom right of the Title Screen. I will continue to address issues as soon as they come in. My Twitter's a bit full-on at the moment, so please email [email protected] if you come across a problem so it doesn't get lost. You're now at v1.044 FIXED: Occasional…
